Life Sabotaging Stressors

I have spent the last seven years staying as busy as possible. Go, go, go. Rush, rush, rush. I am quite certain I resembled Alice in Wonderland's white rabbit. "I'm late; I'm late!" In all truth, I have no idea what the "hurry" was. I simply felt the need to keep moving. Over time, that sense of urgency began to reek havoc on me; both physical and mental. I remained in a constant state of panic. I didn't have panic attacks (I've had them, but they weren't a permanent state of being.) Rather, I just never felt settled. My brain wouldn't shut off, and my body ached, I couldn't focus, and I couldn't sit still. ALL THE TIME. I knew something wasn't right. Surely we weren't created so imperfectly. Surely there was more to this life than just getting by, and surely there was a better way to live. So, the student in me started researching. Quickly my research led me to a study that revealed I had been living with acute stress. Imagine, if you would, yourself in a primitive situation, such as being chased by a bear. In response to seeing the bear, a part of the brain called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) system is activated. Now, our bodies are amazing creations. The HPA systems trigger the production and release of steroid hormones, including the primary stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is crucial in organizing systems throughout the body (including the heart, lungs, circulation, metabolism, immune systems, and skin) to deal quickly with the bear. The problem was, I wasn't being chased by a bear. The HPA system also releases certain neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) called catecholamines. Catecholamines trigger an emotional response. That would come in handy IF I were being chased by a bear. Then there is the release of Neuropeptide S. The brain releases neuropeptide S, by decreasing sleep and increasing alertness and a sense of anxiety. This gives the person a sense of urgency to run away from the bear. Need I repeat...there wasn't a bear. I could write a 10-page essay on the research I discovered about the bodies response to acute stress. However, this is a blog...so I'll cut to the chase. I took into consideration that while there wasn't an actual bear chasing me, something was causing me to respond as if there were. I found that my "bear" was dealing with the death of my seventeen-year-old daughter, Taylor. I had been running from the actuality of her demise rather than address its truth and find a more healthy way of living with the unthinkable. Our bodies are so beautifully created that it responded by trying to help me as it is designed to do, but I, the unwilling participant of a catastrophic tragedy wouldn't do my part. So, my body stayed HYPED. The constant hype causes heart; lung and circulation stress, immune stress, metabolic stress, mental anxiety, in short my whole body suffered and was nearing a complete shutdown. Many of you have a "bear" that you choose to ignore because facing it is too difficult. But you see, your body doesn't understand that concept. It will do what it was created to do, and you will suffer from it. Living with a traumatic past doesn't have to mean living an unhealthy life. Stop running from project to project, shouting "I'm late, I'm late," turn and face your bear. You have to remember that you aren't facing it alone. God is right beside you, and He's waiting to heal you from your past, command the bear to stop chasing you and then walk with you through this life at a slow, steady pace. He won't change the circumstances of your hurt, but He will change your response to it and help you live with it, rather than live, running.