Every Child is Gifted...BUT

As I was at my daughters’ event, I was privy to a nonsense conversation where parents were comparing notes over their kids’ educational intelligence and I felt like I was in a soroity for the whos who of gifted programs. Let me remind you these were moms of kindergarten and first graders. It was comical and absurd. I felt like this could have been a new reality televeision show called, “Keeping Up With The Joneses”. Wish I was kidding, but these mom’s compared notes on whose kids was gifted and with what teacher at the school, whose kid had a modeling agent and the best photographer, and it went on and on.

All kids are gifted. Every child has been gifted with different talents, however, they have also been gifted with different parents. Environment has a strong infliuence on these precious little ones outcomes in life. These parents who have good intentions are setting their little ones up for failure and it is so sad. Let’s just say significance was really high on these mom’s human needs list and it was almost as if these parents are living their lives through their children or at least attempting to meet their human need of signifance through their children. Again let me reiterate, our kids are not gifted to us to serves us, but be sent to serve. Unfortunately, some of these kids were emulating their parents already. This is why you are raising generations, not just your own kids as environment is so influential on young children. There was this one mom who decided to bring me into the conversation by asking me if I was testing my children for gifted and she had no clue what was coming. By the look on her face, I think she thought I would fit right in and be just like them. As we say in the South, bless her heart that she asked me my opinion.

I went on to tell these good intented women that they were so far off the reservation and focused on the wrong things. I told them that every child is gifted. I informed them quickly that my children would not be tested for the “gifted program”. My youngest daughter tested the highest in her class with reading and made all high A’s all year. My youngest is gifted with severe visual processing and moderate auditory processing issues that she require much assistance in school. Nevertheless, I would never want either in a “special gifted” class. Why? This usually means more homework and assignments for parents like me and I want my kids to be able to play and be kids. Yes, experience this thing called life and develop solutions to make the best decisions when life throws them curve balls.

It is a joke that these parents think that this “gifted program” is going to really effect their kids in the long term. Show me where college applications ask for anything other than honors or not. Show me where our British Empire inspired formal education teaches anything beside basic knowlege directly related to tests that influence the monies schools obtain and maybe a little responsbility and discipline? Our young adults spend their first two years in college doing nothing more learning how to show up to class ontime and take course that do not teach them skills or help them in their professions. Our college system is a money making racket as well when compared to foreign educations. The irony is that some of these moms were struggling financially and complaining that they could not afford certain houses in the school district and most of them had at least a 4 year education. I asked them how was their education working for them. Obviously, this was a rhetorical question and they were already in shock from my previous responses. Even if our kids graduate with a 4 year degree no matter whether it is from an Ivy league or not most of them do not come out making more than 6 figures a year and success doesn’t come from a degree, it depends on the individiual and his/her character. See knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power and when you experince life a bit by applying knowledge, then you gain wisdom.

The land of the promise belongs to those who have grit, a work ethic, integrity, discipline, the wilingness to persist until they are successful, and to those who can provide solutions to people. I asked them is this gifted program was teaching their kids these skills? Is this gifted program teaching your kids how to make money, then make their money make money for them while they sleep? Is this gifted program teaching your kids how to bless others as they have been blessed? Mouths were on the floor and the mom who asked me my opinion by this time was wishing she had not. These women were lacking emotional intelligence (EQ), and now as adults they are faced with a personal journey of unlearning things from their individual past and learning new and effective ways of responding to life. Their emotional intelligence was what was keepng them from succeeding so they were attempting to equip their kids with a better resume, but the emotional intelliegence will rob their kids future as well.

I send my kids to school to learn basic skills, socialization, and to check the box. I will teach them the other stuff that really matters when it comes to money and spiritual things, but I will not allow my kids to feel special or set apart by telling them or making them feel like they are better than someone else because they are NOT. Furthermore, I require the time to train my children and to help them develop the appropriate entreprenueral skills so that they can grow up and not worry about financials. It is my desire that my kids live abundantly and give abuntandly. Money gives you choices and for most of these moms in that room that day their choices were very limited and they have not developed the skills to be successful and because they lacked emotional intelligence and the money making skills as so will their children thus, the circle of life. If we missed learning the skills from our parents, as adults we have the choice to learn new skills and unlearn old ones so that we can succeed even at an older age. This is what my husband and I both did and we have decided to hopefully instill the appropriate skills in our girls so that maybe if they apply themselves, the principles/knowlege, then they can enjoy abundance at an earlier age. Remember every child is gifted and my prayer is that they discover their talent(s) and what they are passionate about, then develop solutions they can offer the world while using them. This way they will never feel like they are wokring and have a better chance at thriving:)