Guilt: Personal Versus External

How does guilt serve a person? Well, personal guilt can be a good thing if we use it to change a pattern of behavior and if it propels us to be a better version of ourselves. However, external guilt serves no one and I call this the work of devil. You should never allow someone power over you or your decisions by their use of guilt to manipulate or control you. Personal guilt should equal growth and external guilt is evil. This lesson needs to be taught early in life as our children would be in a better emotional state and could make better decisions for themselves.

When you experience personal guilt, it should be short term and their should be a positive response/result from it meaning you should use it to make you a better version of yourself. When we use personal guilt, this allows us to stay closer to God, seek his forgiveness, and put us back onto his purpose. However, when you allow someone to use guilt to control or manipulate you, then you act from a place of guilt and shame not of personal desire and service. This causes you to harbor feelings of resentment and anger. I have seen this vicious cycle develop inside many families and when the children get older they are estranged or still entangled as adults in this same relationships with their parents. These type of relationships are toxic.

I like to reference the standard that I live by and the one that our great country/constitution was developed upon and this standard is the Bible. God our Father and Creator gave us all free will and He does not control us with any emotions such as guilt. Should we at anytime experience personal guilt, then He hopes is propels us to change our behavior which is referenced as repentance. However, the devil is wanting you to feel guilty so that you do not feel worthy enough to be close to God. Satan hopes you hold onto your personal guilt so that it keeps you estranged from God and Satan uses people to get to you as well. There will be those who are close to you that take your past transgressions and use them against you so that you feel guilt and unworthiness in an attempt to control you and this is dangerous as this can keep you from God and from being your personal best.

On the other hand, God uses love to keep you close to Him. If you have come in contact with the blood in the watery grave of baptism and if you repent, then He is faithful in forgiving you and He does not remember your transgressions. Personally transition your guilt to gratitude for the grace of God and his avenue for forgiveness. Gratitude and love are high vibrational energies. And if people are in God, then they will live up to His standard, encourage you on your journey in life to do and be better in hopes we all reach the promise land. If there are people in your life controlling you via your past or through guilt, they are doing the devil’s work, not God’s. Therefore, do not let man or Satan manipulate you or hold you back with guilt. Although I strive daily to walk the christian walk and be like Christ, I tell my girls often that they are not to grow up to be like me as I am a sinner and their standard is Christ. When my girls disappoint me, are disrespectful, etc. I tell them it is not me they have transgressed, but the will of their Father in Heaven. This is not a guilt trip, this is for their personal use so that they draw nigh to God as we are all called to be His servants. With God and Christ paying the ultimate sacrifice which was dying on the cross for our sins, then it is much easier to serve Him and to teach our children to love Him. Remember there is no significance attributed to Mary…she was the mother of our Savior, but no special mention. Our goals are similar when it comes to our responsibilities as a parent. My kids respecting me is an act of obedience to God, NOT me personally. If you teach your kids to love God, then they will be more likely to use personal guilt to make themselves better and make better decision like honoring their earthly mother and father. I teach my girls external guilt is evil and never make decision based upon it. If God our Creator is NOT controlling you, then no one else should period, end of the discussion.

As parents, I think it is important to remember that our children are NOT here to serve us, they are here to serve God and His purpose. Yes, we want them to honor and love us, however, if you raise them to love God they will be obedient and they will love and honor us. Our kids are souls and we have to realize that we are shepherds of those souls. Prep the soul, prep the heart and prep the mind…the actions follow. Yes, we have to nourish the physical body, keep them safe, but the ultimate responsibility is that which we do NOT see…their soul. If we raise them, educate them, keep them happy, and NOT ensure we have nourished their soul, then what have we done. We get so caught up on the physical tasks at hand we often forget the spiritual and that is the MOST important. We are a vessel to God when raising these blessings called children. Fostering their soul is our responsibility as a parent. I say often that parenting is by far the largest responsibility that I have ever embarked upon. I want my girls to enjoy life and they are typical little girls that love being on a competitive cheer team, going to school, have friends & a lot of girl drama, and thankfully we are still in the baby doll stage, but I remind myself daily that they are souls living in that little physical body. Our goal should be raise them in love to develop the love for God so that they are gracious, contributing, thriving souls. We are all here to spread the good news yes, but we also have find our place where we can thrive on this earth in balance…physically, spiritually, emotionally. If we are not in balance in each area it jeopardizes the others, therefore I feel this is the best foundational advice I can give all people. Do all in love and it brings balance. Do, be, and serve all from a place of love.

Guilt is such a low vibrational energy and this is why it should be temporary. Guilt requires balance as we do require it for repentance, but the devil will use it to bring us down…the devil uses it as spiritual warfare. The lesson that personal guilt is for personal growth and that external guilt is the work of evil should be taught early and often. As children mature, this conversation and the lesson will as well. As parents, we can make applications with analogies and personal examples throughout their lifetime. They are never to young or to old to learn this lesson. There are many adults that I know that are hurt, guilt controlled children trapped in adult bodies. It is so much easier to learn this lesson earlier because if you are an adult you have to unlearn reacting to guilt and learn to love yourselves as our Father in Heaven loves us and the process of unlearning and relearning takes longer. Can you imagine what a better a place this world would be if we taught every child to love that which created them, God our Father? Yes, everything else falls into place…this foundation brings the balance on this journey called life.