Consider Others Above Yourself

Have you ever been in public and gave a stranger a smile only to have it returned with a blank stare. How rude! Right? I mean if I smile at someone it seems the only polite thing to do is for it to be returned. That was my mentality UNTIL... A few weeks after the death of my daughter I went to the grocery store and tried to imitate some form of living. I walked down each aisle and desperately attempted to find items that until that day I knew their exact location. All I could think about was Taylor. My baby. She was gone, and I wanted to be gone with her. I didn't want to be in the grocery store. Nothing in me wanted to be there. In truth, I wasn't there, my body was there, but I was still stuck several weeks in the past. Every step I took hurt, my heart screamed within me and I wanted to shout "MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD!" God kept me strong enough not to give into my madness, He moved my legs and helped my eyes search for the food items on my list. Still I was ever "this close" to making the decision to take my purse from the buggy (shopping cart,) leave my unpurchased items and run out of the store. With each step, I questioned if I could be there one second more. At some point and time, an older lady spoke behind me and said: "You have to be the rudest person I have encountered all day." She spoke loud enough that it pulled me from my state of grief, and I turned to face her. In a whispered tone I questioned, "Excuse me?" She then went on a rant about how she spoke to me as we passed each other and I wouldn't even return a polite smile. She accused me of being a snob, rude to my elders and said I should put my happy pants on before shopping next time so as not to ruin the day of other people. Uncontrollable tears began to stream from my eyes. I found the words "I am so sorry. I just buried my daughter" but could speak no more. I bolted out of the grocery store, and it took months, MONTHS to recover from that because of my fragile state of mind. So you see...I learned from that incident not to assume the worst of anyone who doesn't return my kindness. We never know what is going in the hearts and minds of people. I didn't hear that woman or see her as she passed. I was thinking of Taylor. When we offer kindness, we need to consider if we are doing it for the right reasons. Expecting something in its like in return shows false motives. When we find ourselves in the situation like the one I experienced, pray for the person. They may need that act of kindness more than anything.