Progress Not Perfection

The illusion of seeking perfection steals the dreams, joys and abundance of so many lives. See people who seek to be perfect either end up never getting started on their dreams or burned out from the immense energy they put into everything being so perfect that they can't enjoy life. Society lables these type of perfectionists as procratinators or neurotic perfectionists. I happen to be a recovering neurotic perfectionist so let's explore this personality first.

As a neurotic perfectionist, I did not like to delegate. I felt like it took too much time for me to teach someone what to do than it did for me to do it. Likewise, I set myself up for constant disappointment as I was always upset by the fact the task was not completed like I would do it and I would spend time correcting the task in the way in which I felt made it "perfect". This personality trait almost ruined my marriage. See I felt safe at home so I would complain to my husband and tell him how he did not do what I would do, but I would never say anything to anyone at work instead, I would just do the task over again. This left my hushand feeling like he could never make me happy or do anything right, and left my employees questioning why I would delegate if I was going to redo it after they were done. I was checked out, had no energy, and was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue so I was a physical and emotional wreck. It wasn't until I hired a personal coach was I aware of how toxic this personality is and how it was not serving my relationships. So how does one end up as a neurotic perfectionists? Well, I learned this behavior as we are all conditioned by our upbringing and no, this doesn't make your parents or guardians bad people as they were conditioned too. As an adult, it was time I took responsibility of my actions so I had to go to work to unlearn this behavior. Now that I know why I do what I do, it made it easier for me to let go of being perfect and take my health back and my relationships on all levels.

Although I am not a procrastinator, I do know a few and I can tell you as a person with a great work ethic this type of personality drives me bonkers. I do believe there are areas in our lives where we all procrastinate, but these folks usually procrastinate in many areas of their lives. Again, remember I told you that they learned this from someone in their life so they aren't to blame, however as adults we have to take responsibility for our own actions or in this case the lack of action. These type of people take time getting ready to get ready to do something to never really do anything. They have been conditioned to be lifetime wishers because wishes can't be realized into dreams until you take action to make them come true. This type of person usually ends up depressed and feeling like a failure because everyday they are still sitting at the starting line trying to figure our how to perfectly get to the finish line. See although I am more of a neurotic perfectionist, I have had times when I too was waiting to get started. I wanted to start a blog and create a space (this website) where I could add value to people and especially share the latest scientific breakthroughs which would allow people to live longer with quality of life, however, I felt the task was too big for just myself so I began praying about it and I am convinced that God providentially put my friend, Tammy Wright Moss and I together to bring this dream to fruition. See I was also worried about if the community reading my post would critique my grammar (see worried about being perfect again), but I knew that I had to let that go so that I could share the info people are searching for in hopes that I can shorten their learning curve and have a positive impact in their lives.

Progress not perfection is what causes dreams to be realized. There is a quote that says and I paraphrase that success is not without failure. You have to make mistakes and you have to be vulnerable enough to fail forward getting better as a person so that you can reach your dreams. See our creator does not even seek perfection from us and knows it is not sustainable, therefore He gave His only begotten Son so we should not perish. Because of the investment I made in myself via personal development, I now know and understand why I do what I do which allows for me to have an awareness of these behaviors. I still slip up as it is easy to digress into old behaviors, but at least now I recognize them quickly and redirect myself to behaviors that serve me and those around me. One of the best techniques that I have found that helps me in this area is daily affirmations, where I state every single morning and anytime I feel like I need to hear them. " I am getting better and better everyday in everyway", "I am enough" , and " I am perfectly imperfect". This is just a few of mine and I challenge you to create your own as we each have had a different upbringing so make these personal and applicable. May you release your perfectionist and make your dreams come true in 2016.